Negroni

So, Campari February is still in full swing!

I had originally wanted to make the Negroni first because it is a smooth segue from Gin January, but you know how these things go.

And if you have tried the Special Manhattans you would know that there ain’t no stoppin’ that show!

Ingredients!

Gin – one part

The S.O. finished off the St. George’s the other night, so we’re rocking the Gordon’s

Campari – one part

Sweet Vermouth – one part

Shake on ice and pour into a cocktail glass.

Try to pour the drink evenly if you must share with your S.O.  It actually took more than one try to accomplish an equal pour…it reminded me of this….

Negroni…pretty tasty!

Although the real story is that I drank it, said, “This is pretty tasty…..let’s make some more Special Manhattans!”

And we did.

And they were delicious.

But my real goal with making Negronis was to get the Negroni out of the way, because what I really wanted to make was a Ruby Negroni.

What is in a Ruby Negroni that makes it so special you ask?

Oh, you actually want to know why I keep writing Ruby Negroni in italics?

Because, to answer both questions with one answer….because of the tawny port.

Tawny port brings out the alcoholic in me, I look at a fresh bottle seductively and whisper, “Heelllo Lover,” and we get on famously for the rest of the evening (and yes, tawny port loves Star Trek, so we actually do get on famously).

So, HELLO!  A Campari cocktail with port in it?  Sign me up!

Ingredients

Gin – 1 part

Campari – 1/2 part

Tawny Port – 1/2 part

Do not confuse tawny port with ruby port.  Ruby port tastes like cough syrup.  Tawny port tastes like French kissing Adonis.  See the difference there?  Cough syrup….Adonis….syrup….I think you get it….

Oh, and a little tawny port over a dark chocolate ice cream…..better than French kissing Adonis.

Raspberry Syrup – 1/4 part

This was actually a homemade raspberry infused vodka, but it had a strong raspberry flavor, and the recipe said a raspberry liqueur could be substituted.

Mix on ice.

Now you are supposed to add three parts Prosecco to top the drink off, but all I had on hand was a bottle of Champagne we got for our wedding (like for reals Champagne, actually from Champagne) that I didn’t have the heart to open and splash over a cocktail, so I put a splash of Club Soda for the bubbles.

But really, use the Prosecco next time.

And even with all of its raspberry and tawny port goodness…..we still made a batch of Special Manhattans afterward.

I’m telling you….Special Manhattans are where it is at!

Special Manhattan

So, I have a bit of a Bitters obsession.

I ran across this and I WANT THEM ALL.

It doesn’t even matter that I have no idea what you would use Celery Bitters in, I just want it!

And really, Bitters shows up in a lot of cocktail recipes…so, while I was up at the Store of Shame I put a bottle of Angosturga Bitters into my basket as an attempt to fill out my liquor cabinet.  I figure if I do a little bit here, and a little bit there, I can accomplish this without breaking the bank.

So, I get up to the cash register to pay and the cashier takes a look at what I’ve got and says, “Cherries.”

And I’m all elegance and bringing my A Game and respond with, “Huh?”

And we proceed to have this idiotic conversation where he has to spell out the fact that I have purchased all the ingredients for a Manhattan except for the cherries.

“What is the drink called again?” I ask.

“A MAN-HAT-AN” he replies.

“Oh yeah, I’ve heard of that.”

I mean seriously.  The Store of Shame AND Humiliation.

So, I immediately go home and regale S.O. with this story and he points out that we DID buy the Costco sized bottle of Rye Whiskey so Manhattans could easily be on the menu.

“Um, Heellllo!  It isn’t whiskey month,” I tell him.

“You could probably swap the Bitters out with the Campari and call it good.”

Turns out he is totally right.

And he even offered to make them!

I just chased him around exclaiming, “Wait!  We have to take pictures!!”

The Ingredients (for two drinks):

Rye Whiskey – 5 parts

Yeah, so it turns out I really like Rye Whiskey.  The S.O. has been doing the scotch/bourbon/whiskey thing for a while and he is always offering me a sip, and I always try it and then sputter and choke and gasp, “It Buuuurrrns!” and then call it good.  This Bulleit Rye.  Man.  I asked for my own shot glass to sip on.  Granted, it was a teeny, tiny one, but still a first.

Campari – 1 part

Cocchi Americano – 1 part (substituting this in for sweet vermouth)

Simple Syrup – 1 Tablespoon

The Simple Syrup might have been overkill.  Personally, I thought it tasted fine, but S.O. thought it was a little too sweet.

Shake on ice.  Strain into cocktail glass.

Just gotta say, this was a damn fine cocktail!  The heady whiskey, the bitter finish of the Campari, but the Campari being tempered with the Cocchi Americano….looked awesome in the cocktail glass….

There is clearly a reason the Manhattan is a classic drink, and I think the Campari version is a complete Homerun.

Sloppy Pussy

February!

Are you excited?  Waiting with bated breath for the next month of alcohol?

I thought so!

So, what is it going to be?

Campari, of course!

Campari February!

My first experience with Campari was at a Christmas party my sister threw several years ago, and my dad made me some sort of Campari cocktail.  It’s Christmas time, Campari is red, it was all coming together….until I tasted it, and it was SO bitter all I wanted to do was find a tongue scraper and clean my tongue off.

Needless to say, I have avoided the stuff ever since.

That being said, when I resolved to have a Resolution 38 I knew February had to be Campari.

Red…Valentine’s Day…

It all made sense at the time.

What time you ask?

The time when I made my Resolution 38 Spread Sheet of course.

I told you.

I MAKE the PLAN.

Then ENACT the PLAN.

No.  I’m not a Cylon.

(And if you watched The Plan, you’d know the Cylons didn’t actually have a Plan….::::shaking fist at Ron Moore, again:::….).

But seriously, look at Campari’s ads…..very sexy, very sophisticated, very red…..

It deserves a second chance purely on advertising alone.

So, I head up to the Store of Shame to pick up my bottle of Campari….and it turns out the Store of Shame isn’t so shameful on the Saturday before the Super Bowl.  The place was packed!  I was actually in the checkout line with a half gallon of Rye Whiskey, a bottle of Campari, and a bottle of Bitters and the guy checking me out felt the need to tell me that they would be closing early the next day.

“Uh, I think we’ve got it covered,” I replied wondering how he thought we’d need to hit up the liquor store twice in 24 hours after purchasing a HALF GALLON of whiskey.

With that tidbit of information I’m sure you are thinking, “I need to know about the Sloppy Pussy already!!!”

To which I would reply, “Chill the fuck out.  We’ll get there!”

I know, you don’t usually have to wait for Sloppy Pussy.

Humor me here.

So, I was curious if a good 10 years had mellowed my perception of Campari, so I poured a little taster and had at it.

Very sweet on the front end.

JUST as bitter on the back end.

Only this time around I LIKED IT.

I liked it A LOT.

And it is actually a really great metaphor for life, you get a lot of sweet, and a lot of bitter, but somehow they balance each other out in order to create a complex experience.

Or, to quote Greg Brown, “Life is a thump ripe melon.  So sweet and such a mess.”

Campari seems to make more sense with a couple of years under your belt.

So, when I originally chose Campari as my February liquor I wasn’t exactly sure what to do with it.  There are a couple classic Campari cocktails that we’ll get to later, but other than that I wasn’t sure if there was a months worth of Campari cocktails to drink.

Thank goodness for the Internet, eh?

A quick Google search and I had more than enough recipes to try out.

So, the S.O. and I are sitting on the couch and I’m scrolling through them, and they are all very sophisticated sounding….

Negroni….

Americano….

Dark Horse….

Rendezvous….

Sloppy Pussy….

What?!?

“Listen to this cocktail!” I gleefully exclaim, “Rum.  Campari.  Gin.  Midori.  Orange juice.  Pineapple juice.  Sambuca.  Tequila.  and Vodka!  Ha!  A Sloppy Pussy!”

“Hmm,” S.O. grunts, “A little something in there for everyone.”

Gentle Readers, there is actually no way I will make and consume this cocktail, however, if one of you would like to try it out and then regale me with the story of how quickly you stripped down naked in a public fountain, well, I would love to buy you a drink and hear about it!

But, I can tell you this, Sloppy Pussy or no, February is going to be a VERY good month!

Gin and Jam

One of the best  parts about going public with Resolution 38….

(doesn’t that make it sound like some sort of secret, top security clearance sort of project?

Your Mission should you choose to accept it – find, disable the security sharks with laser beams attached to their heads, and remove all contents from the Vault of Resolution 38.)

Ahem.

One of the best parts about going public with Resolution 38 is that I actually have a little audience out there.

:::Tapping microphone:::

“Hi out there!”

:::silence:::

:::someone yelling out “Freebird!”:::

And the best part of having an audience, especially when your audience is following you specifically because you are drinking more, is that THEY MIGHT PASS ALONG SOME NEW INTERESTING SUGGESTIONS!

For example, Gin and Jam, a suggestion from Enthusiastic Reader #1 (ERNO).

My only complaint about this cocktail would be that there is no way I can compete with the photos in the How-To-Make website.  Because America, let’s be clear, I am making these cocktails to put them in my mouth.  Those Gin and Jam photos are beautiful and made out of beautiful ingredients.  If posting photos on this blog has done nothing else, it has clearly emphasized how many of our food products we purchase from Costco – Behold the Kirkland!

I am not proud of this.

So if you’ll excuse my yellow lighting, and once again, the photos of my dining room table, we’ll get on with the good stuff….

Gin – 2 oz.

Lemon juice – 1 oz.

Simple syrup – 1/2 oz.

Okay, so this is where I went awry on this cocktail.  I was looking at the recipe and thought, “1/2 oz. Simple syrup?  We’ll, if one is good two must be better…” And even though I know you are taught this is not true as a child, I think what we have all learned as adults is that this logic was one of the biggest frauds of our childhood.  There are LOTS of situations where two are much better than one.

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

Pizza for dinner.

Beer just in general.

Turns out not so much with the Simple syrup.  The jam you add to this drink sweetens it considerably, so if you feel the urge to deviate from the recipe…I urge you to refrain.

Raspberry Jam – 1 teaspoon

Kirkland!

Just keep stirring!

Add some ice to make it frosty!

A modest attempt to make it look sexy!

Enjoy!

Vesper Martini

My apologies for leaving you hanging with that wretched last post for so long.

By all means, let’s move on to something….better….cooler….

Yes, let’s go hop across the pond to the land of….Shakespeare…..

Churchill…..

the Beatles….

Sean Connery…..

Harry Potter….

David Beckham’s right foot….

David Beckham’s left foot….

And what the Prime Minister left out, in all of his Hugh Grant perfection was…

James Bond.

Sean Connery does a fair job over covering the James Bond front, but I mean really, does the cool factor get much higher than Bond.  James Bond?

To quote Mr. Gru……”Ehhhhhh……no.”

Bond has always been known for his shaken not stirred martinis, and is also becoming known for his once ordered Vesper Martini.

A darling of trendy little “Vintage Cocktail” books, the Vesper Martini was ordered in Casino Royale, and the recipe was as follows:

“A dry martini,” [Bond] said. “One. In a deep champagne goblet.”

“Oui, monsieur.”

“Just a moment. Three measures of Gordon’s, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it’s ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon peel. Got it?”

“Certainly, monsieur.” The barman seemed pleased with the idea.

“Gosh, that’s certainly a drink,” said Leiter.

Bond laughed. “When I’m…er…concentrating,” he explained, “I never have more than one drink before dinner. But I do like that one to be large and very strong and very cold and very well-made. I hate small portions of anything, particularly when they taste bad. This drink’s my own invention. I’m going to patent it when I can think of a good name.”

—Ian Fleming, Casino Royale, Chapter 7, “Rouge et Noir’

Now, I read Casino Royale, and I’m quite an Ian Fleming fan, but I didn’t remember this scene at all upon the commencement of Resolution 38.

Much research was needed.

To my nerdy delight I discovered that the Kina Lillet is no longer made, and several sources agreed that the Cocchi Americano Italian aperitif wine was a much closer approximation to the no longer available Kina Lillet than the Lillet Blanc that is now available.

Once I was able to nail down my Cocchi Americano at Whole Foods, all I needed to do was head out to the best stocked home bar I know and have at it.

No seriously, this is just ONE DRAWER of many.

Don’t make me tell you I Told You So.

So, the ingredients:

Gordon’s (3 parts)

Vodka (1 part – Bond would go on to say that he preferred vodka made with grain rather than with potatoes, so the well stocked bar was fun because we turned up this gem)

Cocchi Americano (1/2 part)

(beware the lobster!)

Bond specified a twist of lemon peel as the garnish, but all the lemons in the house were reserved for another drink to be made the next day so I opted to go with a classic blue cheese stuffed olive

Shake.

Proceed to Live and Let Die playing Apples to Apples.

Flying Dutchman

I don’t like Dutch people.

Granted I have an N of two, but those two were NOT GOOD.

There was also this time that the SO and I were on our way home from Italy and had an overnight lay over in Amsterdam.  It was a bizarre experience because we were staying at a hotel in the airport and oddly enough the airport was HOPPIN’, like it was a club or something.  And then you got past security and it was a wasteland of no fun.   The only people there were the two mice running through the food court (yeah, no seriously, we were sitting there eating our sandwiches at 10:30 at night and these two mice come running through….although a friend of mine pointed out later that they probably had the munchies….)

My point being….

This drink was a fucking bad idea from the start.

The recipe:

2 oz. of gin

1/2 oz. Triple Sec

And Lord help us….that is ALL THE INGREDIENTS.

Oooohhh…fancy….

:::me taking a sip:::

“This is a fucking BAD cocktail.” I complain bitterly to SO.

“Eh, mix some club soda in,” he suggests.

I don’t see how things can get worse so….

“Too much!  Too much!  You put in too much!”  SO tells me as I glug in a generous helping of club soda.

:::taking another sip:::

“O.M.G…..it got worse!  This thing is fucking miserable!”

:::SO giving me the “I Told You So” look:::

“Add some of the pink stuff…” he tells me, shrugging his shoulders.

The “Pink Stuff” being Rose’s Cranberry Twist Cocktail Infusion!

80’s Party!

Can’t you tell from the curvy bottle?

At this point I just kept thinking, “It can’t get any worse than this…you’re at rock bottom….just power through…”

Yeah.

THAT is what I kept telling myself after George W. was elected…

I’m just saying’

Oh God it was disgusting.

But I just kept drinking it….

And eventually I got to that point where the drink, in all of it’s disgusting glory, started to taste kind of good and started to convince myself that it actually wasn’t so bad and I kind of liked it a little.

Then I hung my head in shame and curse all the Dutch people of the world again.

Gimlet

Yeeeaaahhh…..

So, there is an unfortunate event we need to discuss…..

Now?  Really?  Yeah, I just don’t see how we can, you know, move forward without this, well, awkward conversation first….

So, I pull up the recipe for a Gimlet and it starts listing everything off….Gin….lime juice….and then, well, okay, I’ll just come out and say it…

and extra sugar for rimming.

I….I….just, where do I start?!?

I had always thought of a glass with a sugared rim as delightful and playful.

And then we had to go call it rimming.

Hey!  Let’s put the product of our rimming in our mouth!  Yay!

And then, to make it worse, it turns out I suck at rimming.

That’s some sloppy rim work there my friends!

Okay, let’s style the crap out of this thing….

Much better.

The Gimlet itself was pretty tasty:

Gin (Frosty Gin at that!) –  2 oz./4 T.

Lime Juice (still no fresh limes in the house….I really need to work on this….) – 1/2 oz./1 T.

Simple Syrup – 1/2 oz./1 T.

Shake on ice, or as I did it, plunk an ice cube directly into your cocktail glass so that it clinks around annoyingly while you drink it (I really need to purchase a cocktail shaker).

And try to take pleasure out of licking the sugar off of your RIMMED cocktail glass….here is a close up…

Eh, it actually looks kind of pretty here.

Tom Collins

The Tom Collins and I got off to a bad start.

I ran out of gin halfway through making my cocktail.

“I’m not going to have enough for yours….” I told SO (Significant Other).

“That’s okay,” he said, “Just make one for yourself.”

However, I’m the type of girl that MAKES the plan, then ENACTS the plan.

Running out of gin was not part of the plan.

Of course, the alternative involved a trip to the Store of Shame.

And really, is there anything about a 7:00 p.m. trip to the liquor store on a Wednesday night, after kissing your two year old goodbye and explaining to her “No, this is a shopping trip for Mommy…” that DOESN’T smack of shame?

I don’t know what it is about liquor stores, but they are highly uncomfortable places to be.  The door announces whenever it is open to the entire store, “The Garage Door Is Open.” she says, and you cautiously look over your shoulder.  You are secretly peaking to see who is buying the gallon jug of Monarch Vodka, and since my liquor store is more of a liquor warehouse you may wander around in a complete loop through the store looking for the vermouth before you realize you were standing right next to it five minutes earlier.

All of this aside, it was a highly successful trip.

Mainly because of this….

I’ll be the first to admit that I am easily seduced by pretty labels.

This is not a good thing when choosing a wine.

“But it has a black and white photograph of a cute baby on it!” I exclaim to SO waving the bottle in his face.

:::SO shaking head no:::

Turns out this method of purchasing gin is a VERY GOOD thing.

I spent a good five minutes just looking at this bottle.  I mean seriously, cool label…..

Awesome cork action….

And then we tasted it, and DAMN WOMAN you could drink this stuff straight.  A strong, tasty flavor and a smooth, smooth finish.

At this point I am a firm believer in the idea that if you have to bend your knees to purchase your gin….you aren’t doing it right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Tom Collins itself is easy.

Easy like Sunday morning easy.

Easy like dollar Wednesday down in the Redlight district easy.

The ingredients:

Gin (2 oz./4 T.)

Lemon juice (1 oz. – freshly squeezed preferable, as always)

Simple Syrup (1 oz.)

Soda water (yes, sadly the Plaid Pantry is quickly becoming my go to spot for picking up various carbonated beverages)

Mix with ice.

Voila!

And while you are at it, have two!

Salty Dog

In the Odyssey, Odysseus and his crew sail by the island of the Sirens on their long voyage home to Ithaca.

Odysseus commands his crew to put wax in their ears and to bind him tightly to the mast of the ship.

Under no circumstances, no matter how much he pleads, demands and threatens, are his crew to unbind him.

And as they sail by, under the utmost of pain, Odysseus is able to listen to the song of the Siren, yet continue to sail home, protesting every inch of the way.

I have heard such a siren.

And it is called the Salty Dog.

As George Takei would say….”Oh Myyyyy”.

I am tempted to say, call off the presses, we’ve FOUND the signature cocktail.

Because, my readers, this WAS love at first sip.

But don’t fret, like all brides-to-be, trying on wedding dresses for the first time, we aren’t really going to stop here….on the doorstop of perfection…..but we will come back and try this one on over…..and over….and over.

The Ingredients:

Gin

Yes, we are still rocking the Boodles Gin.

Grapefruit Juice

I was going to go buy a bottle of organic grapefruit juice from Whole Foods, gently pressed by virgins under a blue-moon, because, you know, I DO live in Portland, but just didn’t have it in me to go up to the store today.  So, I get to woo you all with my Ocean Spray.

SALT

Heeellllo Lover!

Seriously, the salty bite of this drink may be my favorite part.

I did a mixture of 2 ounces (4 tablespoons for you bakers) gin, fill the rest of the glass with grapefruit juice and then, because I’d live in a salt lick if I could, 3/8 of a teaspoon of salt

Mix well with as much ice as you can fit in your glass.

Oh.  And try to have as awesome of an evening as I did….

Gin and Tonic

So…..

The French 75…..

Let me say this….January 1 I woke up with a headache and couldn’t find my wedding band.

It would make for a totally wild story except that I never left my house.

I enjoyed the French 75, but I wouldn’t make it at home very often mostly due to my “Champagne Anxiety”.  You know, where you open a bottle of something carbonated and it is like starting a count down on a bomb.  Except it ends in a bottle of flat wine that tastes just like disappointment.

And the champagne deserves better than that.

So, then you are all trying to power chug through the last third of the bottle and really, this is not a place where we all need to be.

Best order this one at the bar where they get to worry about the left overs.

:::dusting hands off:::

Moving on.

Gin and Tonic!

I don’t think I have ever had a gin and tonic before, but it seems like one of the classic gin drinks, so of course it needed extensive research.

THE FIRST THING I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT TONIC WATER

It has quinine in it.

Quinine.  The drug they used to give people to fight off malaria.  In fact, the G&T was invented as a sort of Mary Poppins “spoonful of sugar” sort of remedy to get British troops in India to take their quinine doses.

That was new information.  Here I just thought in was Club Soda.

Although it made me laugh a little bit about the fluoride haters here in Portland.  There is medicine in the water!  For the love of God get the medicine out of the water!  Or at least mix it with some alcohol first so my liver feels better about the whole thing!

THE SECOND THING I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT TONIC WATER

It has sugar in it.

It should be abundantly clear by now that I know nothing about tonic water.

I was reading that Neil Patrick Harris’s character on How I Met Your Mother often orders a gin and tonic and at some point it is revealed that he has no idea what is in it.

I’m basically THAT guy.

So, I had made up my mind to enact “The G&T” Plan this evening, however, it required a trip to the grocery store for this tonic water stuff.

I loathe going to the grocery store.

It takes a SITUATION OF EXTREME GRAVITY to get me to the grocery store on a weeknight.

You know, like the need for pizza.

Not the need for tonic water.

So on my walk out to my car after work I decided to check out the Plaid Pantry nearby and imagine my delight when they had some there!

Even the brand that I saw someone recommending online!

I bought two!

Yeah.  Are you getting that feeling?  That feeling in the movie theater when you know something BAD is going to happen?

Really, the phrase “Plaid Pantry” should have been the first tip off, eh?

Yeah, so ingredient #1

I get home and flip the bottle over and I’m greeted with this….

Oh awesome!  The second ingredient is high fructose corn syrup!

That is not how we roll at my house.

Luckily, a quick Internet search once again proved that Portland is a town of “my people“.

This will  need to be researched further….

Ingredient #2

Ingredient #3

Again, no fresh lime in the house….which also makes a garnish hard to improvise.

Assemble with an abundance of ice….

In my G&T research I came across a post where they were discussing the ratio of gin to tonic to put into the drink and the article was all “You can do a 1:1, 1:2, 1:3, 1:4…” and I’m thinking, “Sooooo…..what I’m hearing you say is that I just put in some gin and then put in some tonic…..?”

Eh, it worked out pretty well in the end.